It’s like he was always there. Especially when I went through a really tough time between 1999 and 2002. I’d hear his voice sing “Hello, I know there’s someone out there who can understand and who’s feeling the same way as me” and it would feel like I had this magical human being holding my hand and it was ok to be a little bit broken because we all are. Even the wonderful ones. He was always there as a reminder to keep pushing and that you can really appreciate colour so deeply because you know the dark.
The news of his death floored me. I didn’t leave my flat for a week. I’d lost someone who I’d never met, but who was a far bigger influence on my life than many people I know. It sounds so weird to say but his lyrics knew me, and I knew him. I finally left the house for my first jewellery wax carving lesson. I sketched and cut and sawed my tribute to Chris. It’s a combination of Black Hole Sun and Euphoria Morning (my title version of the album) with the sun rising over mountains. I tried to do what Chris did in the only way I knew how and turn my grief into beauty. I wear it all the time.